I was excited to visit the largest National Park in the US park system. This piece of land is downright massive. At 13.2 million acres, it’s larger than Yellowstone, Yosemite and Switzerland combined. That fact is straight off the park’s brochure. Why would you pick two parks and a random ass country to demonstrate the area of the park?? Why not three parks, or perhaps a couple of states? Do I know how big Switzerland is?? The answer to that is no, I have no clue. Anyway, it’s huge. That’s what she said…
After my pleasant experience with Tetlin National Wildlife refuge, I had a good feeling about the other federally owned properties up here. Maybe Alaska takes their land management seriously! What a novel idea! As I drive south to the park, I feel a weird sensation coming from the front driver side tire. Only when I turn at low speeds though. Hm. I pull over in the town of Tok and have a look under the truck. Power steering rack and pinion boot is torn and appears to be leaking. Shit. Maybe that’s what’s causing the vibration I’m feeling? But I can’t be certain it’s not a CV joint, I did throw them out of alignment after my new shocks were installed… I call a mechanic in Anchorage and set up an appointment first thing Monday morning. Apparently no shops are open on the weekends in Alaska? Crappy for me, but good for the workers I suppose. That means I need to pace myself to get to Anchorage by Monday morning.
With a mechanical puzzle on my mind, I continue driving towards the park. Maybe some hiking will get my creative juices flowing to try and figure out what’s up with my truck. I make the turn onto Nebesna Rd to enter the park, and follow signs to the visitor center. Ok, this visitor center is very small… I mean this is the biggest damn park in the US and your visitor center is the size of a drive through coffee shop? No big deal. I’m still excited to check it out.
I walk in to find two park rangers at the front desk. Ok one ranger and one admin person. Both look as if they don’t do much, if any outdoor or physical activities. I ask about hikes in the park, camping, road conditions, bear activity, you name it. Everything I need to know before venturing into true wilderness. They steer me towards a popular hiking destination and hand be a brochure with a map. Wanting to know more about the park, I ask if there are any exotic animals that they deal with? I see tons of signage about exotic invasive plant management, but nothing for animals. Do you not have exotic animals here, or is there just no active management currently going on? The answer I got… Well… Was correct and incorrect. The admin person pipes up to tell me buffalo are not native to Alaska, and that’s their only exotic animal. Wait. Woods buffalo are definitely native to Alaska, your dumb ass people just hunted them to extinction. The plains buffalo was brought up from the mid-west and populates a small portion of the park, but to say buffalo in general are not native is just incorrect. It’s similar to say, the red wolf in Florida. Hunted to extinction in 1920, there are some experimental populations in existence in the panhandle of Florida and in North Carolina. People act like the feds have brought in some crazy exotic animal that doesn’t belong to the state, when in fact, it very much belongs to the entire south east.
This reminds me of my favorite scientific paper I’ve ever read. Donlan, 2005 titled Re-Wilding North America. There’s a free PDF on Google Scholar, I totally recommend checking it out. http://copa.acguanacaste.ac.cr:8080/bitstream/handle/11606/164/re-wilding%20OF%20North%20A%23D06E4.pdf?sequence=1&isAllowed=y
Donlan describes how North America has lost all of its large megafuna (big animals) since the Pleistocene, and maybe we should bring them back. We lost our camels, so lets take some closely related African camels and ship ’em over. Pack a train to, I don’t know, middle of nowhere Nebraska, and let loose a literal fuck load of camels. Over time, the best suited camels will survive and reproduce, and the population will evolve to great plains living, roaming alongside buffalo. You know we used to have lions, jaguars, cheetahs, giant tortoises, and much, much more. Do the same thing for them as well. Texas already has a shit load of big game animals like lions on private property, let’s just step that effort up a notch. We can over time restore multiple species of large animals that our predecessors needlessly killed off. THAT’S restoration.
Although Donlan’s ideas are far fetched, it makes you step back and really wonder how much people have fucked up this planet. Our idea of “wild” and “pristine wilderness” is so totally based on what time stamp you’ve picked to resemble. Maybe the true “pure” wild was 13,000 some odd years ago, and we need to get back to having huge mammals roaming around. But if your time stamp was the 1960’s because that’s all you have aerial photography for, well, then you don’t need those pesky buffalo in Alaska! I don’t see any on my pictures, therefore, they shouldn’t be here…
Ok that was a tangent. But you see my point. That single fact of “buffalo are not native to the park” made me a little frustrated. Regardless, I get back into the truck and head down the road. Guess what I saw! A goddamn megafauna! Two moose, aka meese or meeses. I like the term meese… What a treat to see two meese!
Farther down the park road, the pavement gives way to gravel, then dirt. I find the trail head parking lot and find a spot. I’m happy to see a few other cars here! Good bear protection. I pack a bag and head out.
I pass an elderly couple while hiking, and they are photographing what I can clearly see is a spruce grouse. Cute mama bird with two downy chicks in tow. The couple is convinced this is a rock ptarmigan. It is not, but whatever makes y’all happy! I continue on. Now, 3 miles deep in the woods, I spot a tent out of the corner of my eye. Hmm, I didn’t see any backpacking allowed here… I keep walking to see another tent. Then another, then like, 8 more tents. Literal tent city 3 miles deep in a damn cedar swamp. What in the hell are all these tents here for?? Finally I pass a larger tent with an electric fence around it. Apparently a contract crew is working in the back country, and is living out in the woods while completing their work. Man. That is hard core! I love it.
As I plod on, the sky begins to darken, then rain starts to fall. Worry not! I have my rain jacket as I am a prepared hiker who knows how to be in the woods! As I happily slide on my waterproof jacket, the rain becomes, well, more painful. Damn, these are some big ass drops! I look down to see rain bouncing off the ground. Wait, nope, that’s hail. As soon as I realized i was dealing with hail, I spun around and headed back to the car. I am a prepared hiker, but no hiker is prepared for grape size hail.
My hike was short, full of tent city and hail. So pretty lame. I get in the truck, and retrace my steps towards the front of the park to find a campsite. I found the best view at a spot named “dead dog hill.” How romantic! At least it has a bathroom. I get out to spy on some tundra swans, when I’m mobbed by a swarm of mosquitoes. Not you again!! I pull out the bug net, anchor my tailgate with tape, and climb into the truck to avoid the blood loss. I’m sorry to say that no truck modification in the world would have kept all of the bugs out, but I was able to thwart the majority. Regardless, not much sleep was had that day… Dead dog hill got the best of me…
The next morning, I realize that I have lots and lots of time to kill. With no free camping really around Anchorage, I need to stretch my time out so I’m not forced to pay big city camping prices. I dawdle at the park, hunt for more moose and tundra swan, then eventually decide I need to write my vows to Cas. While we’re not doing a wedding, we are getting papers signed up in Alaska. Even with it being so low key, we decided to exchange vows. I don’t know what I’m doing, it’s my first time… But I put a few hours in to try and express what marriage means to me. Maybe I can post them here after she hears them. I’ll have to ask on that though so no promises.
I feel pretty accomplished after writing my thoughts down, and decide to head out to my next spot. There’s a parking lot on the Gulkana River that allows camping and has phone service. I’m in! And I apparently didn’t take any good pictures….
I get to the parking lot, and, well, it’s just a gravel parking lot. I find a shady spot, and start making some calls. Some to change hotel reservations, some to book camp sites, and of course to Cas, my dad, and K-dog. I’ve been pretty isolated the last few days, so it was nice to have conversations. Now here’s where it gets weird.
While I’m on the phone with Kev, a big white pick-up truck with a 20 foot covered trailer pulls up and rolls down the window. A white dude and I presume his wife are inside. Here’s exactly how the conversation went:
Guy: Hey, wanna make $20?
Me: Absolutely
Guy, visibly confused, looks at his wife, then back at me: Uhh, we just need a ride down the river, going to drop off the boat, then park back here. It’s only 2 miles, you sure that’s ok?
Me: Oh, yeah that’s great! I’m just sitting here. You know. Not doing anything.
Guy, still confused: Cool, see you soon
Ok I know what you’re thinking. I should have asked, “hey what task do you need for $20?” Before just jumping in and saying yes blindly. I guess they looked harmless. I know my dad is upset reading this right now… Dad I had bear mace in the door next to me. I would’ve maced both of us in a heartbeat if things went south.
I take the guy (I totally forgot his name) down the road. Army guy, stationed in the Fairbanks area, loves fishing and doing outdoor things with his wife. He’s super nice and easy to talk to. Oh, did I mention I made $20? I drop him off, and he says he’s also staying at the parking lot tonight, and I should join him and his wife for a beer later.
Fast forward to later that night, they get back, and he brings a beer over to my truck. He says come hang out, we got ya a chair! I saunter over and start chatting with Lori, the wife. They are from Michigan and Wisconsin, and are super easy to talk to. Force feeding me food and beer, as normal mid-western hosts do. Having only eaten peanut butter that day, I won’t lie, it was an amazing change of pace. I thoroughly enjoyed the company and conversation. We joke about how I blindly agree to make $20… And I’m made to promise that I’ll ask what I’m doing for money before agreeing right away. Fine, ya, that makes sense I suppose.
Full and slightly drunk off 2 beers, I thank them again for the warm hospitality, and get into the truck for the night. No mosquitoes, no rain, cool weather, it’s like the antithesis of last night! The next morning I’ll be headed to Palmer, AK and then to Anchorage. Hoping for more fun adventures and cool folks along the way!
