Back in Pensacola now, and man, no wonder people bitch about it being so hot. I suppose when you’re always in the heat it feels normal, but coming from the low 60s the other day, this feels a bit oppressive. Regardless, I’m super stoked to be home for a few days. I’ve got a couple projects to finish with the new house, and I get to spend some time with Cas and my dad. I’m sad to report that my cat Moab has in fact forgotten who I am. She’s slowly warming back up to me, but man, talk about heart daggers. I take you in from the woods and this is how you treat me??! The other tiny asshole (Tucker) of course remembers me. He would never forget a hand that has fed him….
Before flying home, I went for a cool hike near the staircase portion of Olympic National Park. The actual park road was closed, so I stayed within the National Forest just outside the boundary. It was cloudy and cold, but nothing too crazy. I packed a rain jacket just in case, as the weather here can change on you in a heartbeat.
While hiking, it of course started pouring. Which is fine. I just trudged along, thinking about how I do not want to venture into the city later. After being in the woods, it’s always hard to make yourself deal with the hustle of 6 lane traffic and shitty people. I’ve planned to sleep at a rest stop off the highway near the SeaTac airport. I need to get to the airport super early, so I do not want to have to pay for a camping spot, or deal with traveling a long distance from the woods to the airport. I am not looking forward to this…
So much rain 
WTF?
While hiking, there are a few peculiar things that happened. First, why are there a bunch of trolls nailed to one of the bridges? They remind me of my aunt Maryann who had all the little troll figurines back in the day. You know what I’m talking about…. Crazy hair colors, jewel on the bellybutton…. She had sooooo many of them and I was so jealous! I loved playing with their stupid synthetic hair. Where did all those trolls go? I’ll have to ask my aunt… Hopefully not nailed to a bridge to freak out unsuspecting hikers.
After the bridge trolls, I found Dick’s rock. It did not look like a dick which was disappointing. It looked as if an official forestry sign had marked dick rock, which was hilarious to me.
The last find was huge. Imagine you’re deep in the PNW, and you come across a legend hiding in the brush. I’m just minding my bushiness when BAM! I SEE SASQUATCH! HE’S JUST CHILLING ON THE TRAIL!
It’s one of those stupid rubber bracelets that takes on a shape when not on your wrist. I of course pick up Sasquatch. He’s now hiding from the cats in a bathroom drawer.
After my hike, I head back to the truck in blinding rain. When I get there, a forestry ranger is writing parking tickets. Keep in mind it’s awful weather, and 2PM on a Monday at a totally secluded trail head, miles from cell service. He forgot his rain coat, and is hiding under a tree while writing. I honestly was not expecting to see a dude writing tickets… I strike up conversation with him. Hey man, you alright? You need a poncho or something? He tells me the weatherman lied to him this morning, and he’s punishing himself for not bringing the proper attire. Poor guy. We’ve all been there. I see the ticket he’s writing is for the only other car in the parking lot. The parking fee is $5, but the ticket is $75. Ouch. Glad I have my annual park pass. For $80 I have entry to all federal fee areas. Seriously guys, best deal ever….
As I leave the woods, I set my sights on a coffee shop with WiFi. The next big town on my path is Olympia, so I get to service, scroll through Yelp, and find the most hipster place I can. Olympia Coffee Brewing.
Once in Olympia, I instantly don’t like it. It looks identical to Tallahassee, but add in dudes smoking pot on every corner, and subtract all the black people. Seriously, I have not seen a black person since I got up here. In fact, there is extremely limited diversity in this whole region. It feels strange. I never though of Florida as a melting pot, but it’s a hell of a lot more diverse than this place.
So I get my coffee and snag a seat at this super swanky spot. I can’t help but overhear the two kids talking next to me. I say kids because they look about 15. I can tell they are in college, but only because they are talking about classes they are enrolled in. The conversation is so hilarious, I cannot do any of the things I had planned to do while there. The conversation went like this:
Boy: Our kid is going to be so dramatic
Girl: It’s because you’re a Sagittarius and you’re always seeking attention. Of course our kid is going to be dramatic
Boy: I also want our kid to be outdoorsy, you know? So we should definitely have a rope swing at our house. So it can be like Tarzan. But that’s going to be hard while living in the city.
Girl: We could live like, right outside the city….
Boy: I cannot believe you’d want to raise a kid in the suburbs!
Girl: OMG you’re right, we’ll stay in the city, and just like, take the kid to outdoorsy places. Where should we take him?
Boy: I mean, we definitely need to take him to Mt. Rushmore.
Ok lemme stop there. This type of convo went on for awhile and I was losing my shit. I decided to take a picture for y’all… First of all, you’re like 12. Stop talking about having a kid. Second, how the fuck did Mt. Rushmore top your list of “outdoorsy places” to take you’re kid??? Third, please stop talking about creating a new life while trying to decide what astrological sign it should be. This couple stayed for so long that I contemplated changing seats just so I didn’t have to be in earshot anymore. I lost 13 brain cells this day….
After coffee and brain cell loss, I headed over to the rest stop off I-5 for the night. Man, it was shitty. So many people were car camping there that there were only a few parking spots left. I snagged one, and tried to make myself comfy. I’m pretty sure the car next to me was selling drugs out of it, and I think I saw at least 2 prostitutes. Around 3 am, a bunch of police, ambulances and fire trucks showed up. Let’s just say it wasn’t the best night of sleep I’ve ever had.
Regardless, it served its purpose. The next day I was on a flight to Mobile, AL. Now that I’m home, it’s easy to fall back into normal life. Hoping I can still be productive, but it’s hard when you have a bunch of animals to play with. By the end of this week, I should be posting pics of a finished light fixture. God I hope I can get it finished in time…
