Apparently there’s just like, tons of outdoor activities within a day’s drive of Portland. If there wasn’t a %14 income tax, I’d consider talking Cas into moving out here. One of the main recommendations I got from folks back home was to visit the gorge. By this they mean the gorge created by the Columbia River, which separates Oregon and Washington. Sure, I’m game. Who doesn’t love a gorge, right?
As it turns out, this place is pretty amazing! Why didn’t anyone tell me there were like, a million waterfalls along the Columbia River?? They are just scattered all along the historic road that parallels the river.
Falls 
More falls
Like, a shit load of falls. My favorite was Latourell falls which was the first one that we came across. It was just a solid stream straight down, but also had these cool geometric black rocks along the sides. Oh, there was also a chick doing a photo shoot at the falls which I found hilarious.
I love the rocks features 
Dumb asshat… it’s like 40 out
After a couple of small fluffer falls, we made it to Multnomah falls. This is the tallest waterfall in Oregon and second tallest year round falls in the US. Aka super tall… I have to admit I never really figured out how to pronounce this name. It’s supposed to be Malt-No-Mah. Three syllables. Nothing crazy. But what my brain wants to say is Maltnememene falls. Or Maltfomonone falls… Or perhaps molnomonomo falls. This eventually gets old, and Brittney makes me repeat Malt-No-Mah over and over about 15 times until I stop sounding like a stroke victim.
There were of course a shit load of people at this attraction, but it was fine. Easy enough to navigate around people. After falls viewing, we decided to get some food and beer before going on a more substantial hike. Britt found the cutest taproom right on the Columbia river with outdoor seating. Could not have been a more perfect spot.
After nachos and a beer named Pet Rock & Moon Boot (remember I buy beer based on the name), we head out to hike a section of the PCT to find dry creek falls. The hike in was awesome and easy, and the falls were pretty damn cool. I guess it’s called dry creek falls because there was a water control structure at the bottom. There were a couple of surprises here which made it fun. First, no other people! That’s always a plus! The second was this sweet hippo find…
After the hike, we got back to the car right at rush hour. Not wanting to just hang out in traffic on the way back to Portland, we headed back to the brewery to have another beer and waste some time. B got a beer called Untrustafarian Mexican Lager, which I find hilarious as she’s married to someone of Mexican decent. After the beer, we head home, and I catch one more glimpse of all the cool waterfalls on the drive home.
The next few days are a bit of a blur, as I did not do a great job on taking pictures. We decided to go camping at the Jefferson Wilderness Area and do a hike to see three finger Jack (a rock formation). But….. the weather was awful, there was a shit load of snow on the ground, and the overall condition of the trail was miserable. We didn’t even make it a mile.
The man reason I wanted to camp with company was to practice some campfire cooking. Being alone for this entire sabbatical, I haven’t exactly prepared any cooked food beyond heating up water for coffee. I got some steaks, some veggies, and eggs to try out. I’m happy to say I din’t fuck up too hard! Besides dropping a raw steak on the ground, I think things went pretty well. Don’t worry, I ate the steak I dropped.
The only downside to camping with company was that I slept in the back seat of the truck. Not a viable option for the future unless there’s a damn monsoon outside. Should have opted for the tent.
After camping, we traveled south to Bend, visited a few breweries, then headed home to Portland. The Pacific Northwest weather does not make you want to stay outside. In fact it makes you want to curl up in a ball under the covers and sleep for 20 hours… The next day B takes me to a few more spots in downtown Portland, and to some outdoor gear spots so I can get some supplies. This camping adventure has made me realize I need some additional cooking supplies so that I can make Cas five star meals while we’re in Alaska. I’ve also found that the Thermacell that Mike got me for mosquito control is absolutely vital and I need some refill pads. To REI we go. After this, I prep my gear to leave in the morning. It’s been awesome to check out Portland with friends, and I’m so thankful they opened up their home to me. B and Diana, thank you so much. Y’all better come to Pcola so I can repay the favor!!
