Man it poured last night. I was worried about the horses chilling out in the open, but they seemed to do just fine. I tried to check on them through the storm, but I couldn’t see a damn thing in the rain. In the morning, the horses were practically dry and seemed at ease munching on soggy hay. I suppose one becomes accustomed to rain storms when your whole life is spent out at pasture. I strive to have the DGAF attitude of a pasture horse.
When my new friends woke up, we sat around where the fire was the previous night and drank coffee while studying the weather forecast for the day. WeatherBug was predicting more rain around 10am, so the riders decided to wait it out. We just hung around and chatted until about 11am. The rain never came. When the ladies decided to take off on their trail ride, I packed up my things and headed west towards Bear, Michigan.
The trek to Bear was intentional, as I was meeting my buddy Todd aka Wolfman out at his brother’s property. The brother (Justin) had about 10 acres of beautiful property in the middle of nowhere, containing old pasture land and some more later successional stage wooded areas. I also counted 3 large apple trees that I promptly taste tested. Still road apple-ish, but better than most I had tried. A Mennonite family was working on a barn adjacent to the property. They were making astonishingly fast progress in matching green button ups and overalls.
At Justin’s place was Justin, my buddy Todd, and their parents. They had driven in from Indiana to spend some quality time with their boys out on the property. Oh, I should mention there aren’t any buildings out on this property. A few sheds built by the brothers, a tent, and an old camper that will most likely never see the road again. Regardless, there is a fun fire site, a cooking area, and a legit garden to scavenge from. Plus did I mention there are apples?? Todd sets up his tent in the woods, and I settle my truck on to a level patch of ground. Plenty of room for everyone here!
Ok I have to share some stories about Todd. This guy is one of the sweetest, smartest, most helpful, most genuine person I’ve ever met. Need help with changing your power steering fluid? Yeah he’ll drive 2 hours to Pensacola to help you. Oh by the way we’re going to Mobile for Mardi gras while you’re here… No problem, Todd already has his overalls and crocs packed to join in with the debauchery.
Need help moving? Yup, this guy always shows up with the best attitude. Plus he’s strong as shit. I’ve seen this dude lift things that took myself and 3 other coworkers to budge. Anyway, you get my point. I love Todd, and would anything he needs because I know it will be reciprocated a million times over.
The only issue we have in regards to Todd is his tendency to run and hide when blackout drunk. Now, we figured this tendency out while having a party out in the woods one day. Todd drinks a pint of whiskey in the first two hours, and just, disappears. We go looking only after we realized he was gone (like an hour) but he doesn’t have his phone and isn’t responding to his name being called. We are worried, but what are we going to do? Call the cops and say we lost our drunk friend in the woods? No. Not gonna happen. Someone would for sure get shot. So, we do the next logical thing. Keep drinking. About an hour after we realized Todd was gone, one of the best doggos ever, Juno, aka the fluffiest and 2nd softest, starts growling out in the woods. What is it girl? Bear? Random crackhead coming to kill us all? Did Timmy fall in the well? Nope, Juno had located Todd facedown in a patch of palmettos and was freaked the fuck out. We pull Todd out into the clearing near the fire for safe keeping, and drive him home when we all leave.
One more story. Our friend group decided to go to New Orleans for Ashley’s 30th birthday. Todd is of course coming because he’s awesome. But we now know Todd better. Passing out in the woods where your only danger is a bear is one thing, passing out in an alleyway in New Orleans is another beast. We decide to attach a tracking device to his shorts so we can keep tabs. We have our fun the first night, and people start filtering back to the rented house around midnight, getting ready to pass out. But. We have lost Todd at some point. No worry! I pull up my phone and see that Todd is right down the street and headed for the house! Sweet! Then, 20 seconds later, we hear “Thunk.” Cas gets up to investigate only to find Todd has deposited the tracking device in the mail slot and ran off. Dammit. There’s nothing we can do at this point. We go to sleep and hope he comes back.
The next morning as people wake up, we’re all looking around for Todd. As I get to the kitchen, my buddy Kelli is up drinking a beer and coffee. “Where’s Todd?” I ask. “Oh, he’s outside,” she nonchalantly says. I open the back door to an overgrown weed shit of a yard. I don’t see him. I come back inside and tell Kelli he’s not there, he must’ve already left again. “No, he’s there, you’re not looking hard enough.” So I go back out, and sure as shit, Todd is sleeping on a concrete pad surrounded by waist high weeds. Passed out. Our feral cat has returned.
Now I won’t tell the story about how Todd lost his sunglasses, hat, wallet and cell phone the next night. Mostly because no one knows what truly happened. Not even Todd. We do know someone used his federal travel card at the bars in downtown New Orleans that night. That’s always a fun call to tell your boss.
There’s no good segway back to the main story here and I don’t care.
After meeting everyone on Justin’s property and chilling for a bit, Todd decides to usher everyone out to a popular hiking trail/boardwalk down the road and search for birds. It’s a windy afternoon, but the weather is mild. The wind made the birds hunker down, but it was still an enjoyable stroll.
When we returned, Todd’s mom makes us chili over the fire as we settled in for some drinks and star gazing out in the country. I of course pass out relatively early as I have the sleeping tendencies of an 80 year old. Except the whole waking up early part. Haven’t quite figured that out yet.
The next morning is filled with coffee and pie that Todd’s mom had made from scratch prior to coming out in the woods. Mixed berry pie… I eat enough to feel obese, and we plan out a day full of fun activities. We’re going to play disc golf, go for a hike, and then see where we end up from there. Finding disc golf ended up being an adventure of its own… Todd and Justin tried to find the course based on memory alone which led us on a random goose chase. We got Todd’s father’s minivan down some pretty sketchy dirt roads before we popped out in the correct parking lot. Once there, we pile out of the van and search for the course. There are soooo many trees here, so it takes a moment to orient ourselves. But once we find it, we’re off to the races.
PS I’m horrible at disc golf. But it was nice to walk around with the boys and throw things. I hit a lot of trees that day. The mosquitoes out here are awful, so Todd’s mom hides in the van while we play. Todd’s dad picks up beer cans as we move along in the hopes of recycling them and cashing in on some free money. Who throws beer cans out on a disc golf course anyway? Jerks…
After disc golf, we pile back in the van and head towards a nearby park with some fun views. The hike was a short wooded trail that popped you out right on some amazing relic dunes on the lake. Lake Michigan I suppose? That sounds right. So many damn lakes to remember… The views of the lake were unobstructed. We sat and soaked in the vista while we plotted our next course of action. Todd’s parents were good at making us sit and take in the view for a bit. I’m normally too quick to see something, enjoy it for 2.5 seconds, then start hiking again. But this, this was a solid 15 minutes of view enjoyment. Todd and I foraged for wild grapes and blackberries of course as our time limit for sitting still is quite low.
We decide that we’re going to visit a nearby brewery instead of heading back to the property. Everyone is pretty hungry at this point, and anything we cook at the camp site will take a long time. I find the brewery on Yelp and lead Todd’s dad to victory. Once there we grab some beers, some apps, and talk about things I need to see on the rest of my trip.
On the way home, we picked up groceries to cook dinner. Looks like spaghetti is on the menu, so Todd and I promptly find dinosaur shaped noodles and throw them in the cart. Todd’s mom loads up on sugary sweets for breakfast tomorrow, and things to make sauce. Back at camp, she finally notices our noodle choice and silently shakes her head as Todd and I laugh… Who doesn’t like eating stegosauruses?
Dinner and drinks turned out fantastic. After becoming incredibly full from dinner, we decided to hit up a local cidery right down the road. There is a local band playing that Todd has checked out on Youtube and it sounds promising. I’ve never been to a cidery, but it’s basically a brewery with cider and mead. Super cool, all local fruit, and very organic. It’s a cute venue with a packed outdoor stage area. We find some seats and sip on cider and sweet wine while listening to pretty decent tunes. So this is what people in the middle of Michigan do in their free time.
As the cidery closes down surprisingly early, and we head back to the property and get ready for bed. I’ll be leaving tomorrow, so I’m trying to make sure everything is prepped for my departure. The next morning, Todd’s parents go to church, and I leave for Cleveland. My intentions are to drive straight from Bear, MI to Cleveland as there’s nothing I want to see on my way. Maybe I should stop in Flint, MI and fill up my water bottles? Maybe a jaunt to Detroit to see the local cuisine? JUST KIDDING THIS PLACE IS AWFUL. I mean not awful. Just, dirty with awful drinking water. Hard Pass.
A lot of people ask, “Jen, why in the hell are you going to Cleveland? And why would you plan to stay so long when your trip’s purpose is to be in the woods away from people?” Great question a lot of people…. My buddies Kelli and Sarah have a house there, and I’m wanting to help them with some home improvement projects while enjoying the local beer scene. I have allotted 2 weeks to be in Cleveland, but I had my dates all mixed up. The dates I had outlined to my family said 3 weeks, and I was saying 2 weeks and getting frustrated when the amount of time was not adding up. At this point I don’t know how calendars work, what the days of the week even mean…. I’m having issues reading clocks. I am one with the woods and the road….
Regardless of my inability to plan anything of substance, I get from Bear, MI to Cleveland safely. When I pull into the big city, it’s somewhat late at night and I’m practically starving. My buddy Kelli is apparently out of town, so I’m meeting up with her wife Sarah. Now I love Sarah, but I’ve never hung out with her alone. I think Kelli told me she wasn’t going to be out of town, but I must have forgotten. I text Kelli that I’m near Cleveland when I got cell service again, and she reminds me she’s in Orlando for two more days. Oh, right, I knew that. Again, I have lost the ability to plan things at this point.
I get to the house, and realize Sarah has parked on the road so my truck can be at the house. I am soooooo glad I don’t have to find street parking. I come in, say hi to all my doggo friends that I missed very much, and talk to Sarah for a bit. We then decide to hit a local bar that has some amazing greasy food that’s delicious and awful for you. We pull up to Roudie’s and are greeted with the best redneck sticker I have ever seen. “God willing and the Creek Don’t Rise.” Yaaaassssss! New slogan for life has been acquired.
We pop into the bar, and I’m worried it’s closed. We’re the only people there. We ask the bartender if they are open, and they are! Just a super random slow night apparently. Oh thank god. Sarah and I order amazing food, and call Kelli while at the bar. She’s of course jealous, even though she’s at freaking Harry Potter World in Orlando. That’s a whole other story I won’t be going into… Sarah and I eat, then head back to the house so I can crash. She tries to make me sleep in the spare bedroom, but being the loud walker that I am I don’t want to be stomping around their upstairs like an untrained Clydesdale. I’ll stay on the couch and cuddle dogs.
Tomorrow, I promise Sarah I’ll help with house chores. Kelli gets in at 2am on the following morning. Man I fucked up my dates hard. Oh well.