Author: admin

My other half is finally in Alaska with me! She flew in on June 19th, and we stayed at an RV park in downtown Anchorage near the train tracks. Ideal location if you ask me… She experienced a good amount of jet lag and all around shock in regards to the amount of sunlight up here. Being the Summer Solstice and all, we have over 20 hrs of sunlight, so it’s going to take some getting used to. Shit I’m still not used to it. We were worried about how she’d sleep in the back of the truck with me, but she ended up sleeping better than I do on most nights. Jerk. She brought some dollar store eye masks to keep out some of the light, and apparently they work great for her! I just feel like my face is being held in a slight vice grip, and can’t seem to keep the damn thing on my face. Apparently the dollar store had some other masks with stupid sayings written across the eyes like “offline” and “beauty rest,” so of course I’m disappointed I didn’t get to turn over and read something ridiculous on her face.

The next day, we have planned to get paperwork signed to get married. No big ceremony, no extra people, just us. First thing in the morning we drive to the courthouse in downtown Anchorage. The woman behind the counter is incredibly kind and spends a large amount of time to give us recommendations of where to visit during our visit. After vacation tips, we get very detailed instructions to have an ordained minister sign our marriage paperwork, then have it returned to the courthouse to become finalized. Easy enough!

The reason we got to the courthouse so early is because we have a ceremony scheduled for 11AM at Bird Point just outside of Girdwood, AK along a lonely looking strip of rocky coastline. We get there stupid early, and walk around for a bit. As the clock starts to tick down, we don’t see our guy. Maybe he was caught in traffic? Or maybe we’re at the wrong parking lot? Right at 11, Cas puts in a call to our contact only to find he’s been sitting at the same parking lot right across from us, thinking we were late… We’re dumb.

We scout out a spot near the water, have our expedited ceremony, sign our papers, and grab some photos. We didn’t pay for photos, but one of the guys working for the company offers to spend some camera time with us. We obviously hate photo shoots, but might as well, right?

After about 20 minutes, we decide to leave and try to catch some of the Sweden v. USA world cup game. There’s a bar at the top of a mountain ski slope thing, so we hurriedly grab some tram tickets and head to the bar. Best part of this set up is that we’re staying at the hotel at the bottom of the ski slope, Hotel Alyeska.

After watching USA clinch a win, we head out of the bar to explore the mountain. We wandered a bit, then looked up some nearby hikes in the old crow mine area. The bartender mentioned a trail with a hand cart that allows you to cross a river, so obviously we were curious. We hop in the car for all of 10 minutes and roll up on a beautiful hike with lush forest and perfectly maintained trail. A mile in, we get to the hand cart. It was exciting, terrifying, and strenuous all rolled into one.

After way too much physical exertion, we walk back to the car and head back to the hotel. Finally time to check in! Ok I have to mention, this is the first hotel I will be staying at this entire trip. Hotels and housing in general in Alaska is stupid expensive. Like, $200 for a shitty motel. This very nice ski lodge was running about $500 after taxes, and that was comparable with all the decent hotels in the area. I know. It’s a lot, but I mean, what kind of stories am I going to hear if I made Cas sleep in my truck after getting married? She obviously doesn’t care where we sleep, but I wanted to do something nice.

The hotel was basic, with no frills. Comparable to a $100 room in the lower 48. I’m stoked to be inside regardless, and have a shower and bathroom within walking distance. After a nice dinner (Thanks Dad!) we head to the indoor pool/hot tub to chill out.

The next morning we drove south to Seward Alaska, down the Kenai peninsula. I found a glacier that you can hike to named Exit Glacier within the Kenai Fjords National Park. Before hopping in the truck, we realized that something has tried to get into the back of my truck. I think a raven perhaps? The black plastic has been chewed quite a bit… Oh well, whatever it was did not succeed.

We wanted to see a glacier on this trip, and we definitely came to the right place. I will say, there’s nothing like seeing a glacier that makes you really understand the tangible impacts of global climate change. The National Park Service does a great job of educating people about how the glacier has receded in recent years. It’s very, very dramatic changes. Pictures show a much different glacier just 10 years ago. I do not remember how much the glacier has receded overall, but just last summer it lost 252 feet of ice.

Even with its recession, it was an impressive sight to see. We hiked 2.5 miles straight up to get a birds eye view of the ice mass. We had planned to hike farther, but there was snow on the trail and avalanche warnings everywhere. We were not prepared to take such a risk.

• 

• 

On the hike down, a group of people say they have seen a momma black bear and three cubs. Shit, not what we wanted to hear. Walking as alert as possible, we make our way down, listening to every rustle, and scanning the trail ahead of us with binocs to see if the coast is clear. At one point, we hear a large group of people yelling. We see them staring up the hill, taking pics, being loud, all things people would do if you saw a bear. Shit shit shit. We hike quickly down to the group, and ask where the bear is. “Oh, no bear, just a proposal!” So what we thought was a bear sighting turned out to be some kids getting engaged. Assholes scared us bad!!

Once back at the truck, we notice something that we hadn’t seen before. A damn bear paw print on the back of the truck. It wasn’t a raven trying to get in, it was a young bear attempting to chew its way through my camper top.

After leaving Exit glacier, we head down to the town of Seward to get food, grab a beer at the local pub, then find a place to camp. I just got to say, we got pretty lucky with our campsite. Right on the river along the gravel beds. We made a fire, got some swordfish and corn cooked, and settled in for the night. We haven’t figured out exactly what we’re doing tomorrow, but we’ll figure it out soon enough!

After leaving Gulkana River, I headed west to get closer to Anchorage for my Monday mechanic appointment. I need a shower before entering civilization again, so I decide to pay for an actual campsite in Palmer which is about an hour out of Anchorage. I find a nice, cheap municipal park on Yelp in Palmer, set it into the GPS, and head out. The drive was fine, but road construction was everywhere. Good thing I don’t need to be anywhere at a specific time! When I roll into Palmer, It’s around 2PM and I’m starving. I wanted to go to the Matanuska Brewery here, but I need to eat before that happens. All I need is to get sick off 2 beers! A google search brings up Palmer Ale House. Not the normal Ale House chain, this is a local business with great food reviews.

I pull up to the restaurant, and find a spot at the bar. Professional lacrosse is on? Weird. Maybe no other sports are on the TV today… It’s overall pretty entertaining, but man it’s a brutal sport. All I can think about is Paula’s ex-boyfriend Crazy Larry…. I order a local beer, and an entire pizza called the jalapeno popper. Basically cream cheese, bacon and jalapenos. It was amazing. It took everything in me to not eat the entire pizza while sitting at the bar.

After lunch/dinner, I pull up to the municipal RV park in downtown Palmer. It’s great because I can set up my stuff, then walk downtown to the brewery after I digest. I get in, and find a spot at the campground. Man, this place is full of kids. So so so many kids running around, like wild packs of animals on scooters and hover boards. Ugh. I walk to the bathroom before going to pay for my spot, and find the showers are out of order. Well shit, this was the entire point of paying for a camping spot! I go back to the truck, leave the children infested area, find another RV park on Yelp, and leave downtown. Screw it.

I pull up at Big Bear RV which is right off the Glenn Highway, and find a spot. No kids, quiet, and beautiful bathroom with working showers. This is what I was looking for! Instead of partaking in a brewery, I finished my amazing pizza, read some, and went to bed.

The next morning, I head west again to the town of Eagle River, just 20 miles outside of Anchorage. There’s a trail head (Mt. Baldy Trail head) near town that is described on freecampsites.net that is just what I need. A place to park AND a place to hike. I get there around noon, and decide to go for a hike.

Man, this place has some awesome views, and some serious elevation changes during the hike. The trail is basically straight up and down, muddy as hell, and not well marked. Regardless, tons and tons of people are here! It’s father’s day, and lots of families have decided to go hiking today. Good for them! Except I hear multiple families with kids complaining about the hike. Children complaining of being tired, wet, and muddy, it’s pretty hilarious. People trying so hard to do what dad wants to do for one day, but just can’t muster doing it without constant bitching.

I get to the top and hang out for a bit. Wanting to waste some more time and not sit alone in a parking lot all evening. I find a coffee shop in town to get some WiFi. I find the Sleepy Dog Cafe, and settle in for awhile.

After my chill afternoon drinking coffee and muffing around on the internet, I head back to the truck and prep for my day at the mechanics. I decide to take the skid plate off my truck to aid in diagnostics tomorrow, and find a pretty substantial coolant leak. Shit. This stuff is all over the place, and doesn’t look to be coming from something easy like a hose. Just one more issue to deal with unfortunately. Guess I’ll be bringing up 2 issues to the mechanic tomorrow. I settle in for the night on the flattest piece of ground I can find in the parking lot, and hope for the best with my truck.

I should also mention there’s no bathroom up here, and it doesn’t ever get dark enough to hide in the cover of night. I just have to look both ways, pray no one is coming, and take a squat. Not the best situation, but at least I’m not parked at a Wal Mart. Not too many options in this area unfortunately.

I was excited to visit the largest National Park in the US park system. This piece of land is downright massive. At 13.2 million acres, it’s larger than Yellowstone, Yosemite and Switzerland combined. That fact is straight off the park’s brochure. Why would you pick two parks and a random ass country to demonstrate the area of the park?? Why not three parks, or perhaps a couple of states? Do I know how big Switzerland is?? The answer to that is no, I have no clue. Anyway, it’s huge. That’s what she said…

After my pleasant experience with Tetlin National Wildlife refuge, I had a good feeling about the other federally owned properties up here. Maybe Alaska takes their land management seriously! What a novel idea! As I drive south to the park, I feel a weird sensation coming from the front driver side tire. Only when I turn at low speeds though. Hm. I pull over in the town of Tok and have a look under the truck. Power steering rack and pinion boot is torn and appears to be leaking. Shit. Maybe that’s what’s causing the vibration I’m feeling? But I can’t be certain it’s not a CV joint, I did throw them out of alignment after my new shocks were installed… I call a mechanic in Anchorage and set up an appointment first thing Monday morning. Apparently no shops are open on the weekends in Alaska? Crappy for me, but good for the workers I suppose. That means I need to pace myself to get to Anchorage by Monday morning.

With a mechanical puzzle on my mind, I continue driving towards the park. Maybe some hiking will get my creative juices flowing to try and figure out what’s up with my truck. I make the turn onto Nebesna Rd to enter the park, and follow signs to the visitor center. Ok, this visitor center is very small… I mean this is the biggest damn park in the US and your visitor center is the size of a drive through coffee shop? No big deal. I’m still excited to check it out.

I walk in to find two park rangers at the front desk. Ok one ranger and one admin person. Both look as if they don’t do much, if any outdoor or physical activities. I ask about hikes in the park, camping, road conditions, bear activity, you name it. Everything I need to know before venturing into true wilderness. They steer me towards a popular hiking destination and hand be a brochure with a map. Wanting to know more about the park, I ask if there are any exotic animals that they deal with? I see tons of signage about exotic invasive plant management, but nothing for animals. Do you not have exotic animals here, or is there just no active management currently going on? The answer I got… Well… Was correct and incorrect. The admin person pipes up to tell me buffalo are not native to Alaska, and that’s their only exotic animal. Wait. Woods buffalo are definitely native to Alaska, your dumb ass people just hunted them to extinction. The plains buffalo was brought up from the mid-west and populates a small portion of the park, but to say buffalo in general are not native is just incorrect. It’s similar to say, the red wolf in Florida. Hunted to extinction in 1920, there are some experimental populations in existence in the panhandle of Florida and in North Carolina. People act like the feds have brought in some crazy exotic animal that doesn’t belong to the state, when in fact, it very much belongs to the entire south east.

This reminds me of my favorite scientific paper I’ve ever read. Donlan, 2005 titled Re-Wilding North America. There’s a free PDF on Google Scholar, I totally recommend checking it out. http://copa.acguanacaste.ac.cr:8080/bitstream/handle/11606/164/re-wilding%20OF%20North%20A%23D06E4.pdf?sequence=1&isAllowed=y

Donlan describes how North America has lost all of its large megafuna (big animals) since the Pleistocene, and maybe we should bring them back. We lost our camels, so lets take some closely related African camels and ship ’em over. Pack a train to, I don’t know, middle of nowhere Nebraska, and let loose a literal fuck load of camels. Over time, the best suited camels will survive and reproduce, and the population will evolve to great plains living, roaming alongside buffalo. You know we used to have lions, jaguars, cheetahs, giant tortoises, and much, much more. Do the same thing for them as well. Texas already has a shit load of big game animals like lions on private property, let’s just step that effort up a notch. We can over time restore multiple species of large animals that our predecessors needlessly killed off. THAT’S restoration.

Although Donlan’s ideas are far fetched, it makes you step back and really wonder how much people have fucked up this planet. Our idea of “wild” and “pristine wilderness” is so totally based on what time stamp you’ve picked to resemble. Maybe the true “pure” wild was 13,000 some odd years ago, and we need to get back to having huge mammals roaming around. But if your time stamp was the 1960’s because that’s all you have aerial photography for, well, then you don’t need those pesky buffalo in Alaska! I don’t see any on my pictures, therefore, they shouldn’t be here…

Ok that was a tangent. But you see my point. That single fact of “buffalo are not native to the park” made me a little frustrated. Regardless, I get back into the truck and head down the road. Guess what I saw! A goddamn megafauna! Two moose, aka meese or meeses. I like the term meese… What a treat to see two meese!

Farther down the park road, the pavement gives way to gravel, then dirt. I find the trail head parking lot and find a spot. I’m happy to see a few other cars here! Good bear protection. I pack a bag and head out.

I pass an elderly couple while hiking, and they are photographing what I can clearly see is a spruce grouse. Cute mama bird with two downy chicks in tow. The couple is convinced this is a rock ptarmigan. It is not, but whatever makes y’all happy! I continue on. Now, 3 miles deep in the woods, I spot a tent out of the corner of my eye. Hmm, I didn’t see any backpacking allowed here… I keep walking to see another tent. Then another, then like, 8 more tents. Literal tent city 3 miles deep in a damn cedar swamp. What in the hell are all these tents here for?? Finally I pass a larger tent with an electric fence around it. Apparently a contract crew is working in the back country, and is living out in the woods while completing their work. Man. That is hard core! I love it.

As I plod on, the sky begins to darken, then rain starts to fall. Worry not! I have my rain jacket as I am a prepared hiker who knows how to be in the woods! As I happily slide on my waterproof jacket, the rain becomes, well, more painful. Damn, these are some big ass drops! I look down to see rain bouncing off the ground. Wait, nope, that’s hail. As soon as I realized i was dealing with hail, I spun around and headed back to the car. I am a prepared hiker, but no hiker is prepared for grape size hail.

My hike was short, full of tent city and hail. So pretty lame. I get in the truck, and retrace my steps towards the front of the park to find a campsite. I found the best view at a spot named “dead dog hill.” How romantic! At least it has a bathroom. I get out to spy on some tundra swans, when I’m mobbed by a swarm of mosquitoes. Not you again!! I pull out the bug net, anchor my tailgate with tape, and climb into the truck to avoid the blood loss. I’m sorry to say that no truck modification in the world would have kept all of the bugs out, but I was able to thwart the majority. Regardless, not much sleep was had that day… Dead dog hill got the best of me…

The next morning, I realize that I have lots and lots of time to kill. With no free camping really around Anchorage, I need to stretch my time out so I’m not forced to pay big city camping prices. I dawdle at the park, hunt for more moose and tundra swan, then eventually decide I need to write my vows to Cas. While we’re not doing a wedding, we are getting papers signed up in Alaska. Even with it being so low key, we decided to exchange vows. I don’t know what I’m doing, it’s my first time… But I put a few hours in to try and express what marriage means to me. Maybe I can post them here after she hears them. I’ll have to ask on that though so no promises.

I feel pretty accomplished after writing my thoughts down, and decide to head out to my next spot. There’s a parking lot on the Gulkana River that allows camping and has phone service. I’m in! And I apparently didn’t take any good pictures….

I get to the parking lot, and, well, it’s just a gravel parking lot. I find a shady spot, and start making some calls. Some to change hotel reservations, some to book camp sites, and of course to Cas, my dad, and K-dog. I’ve been pretty isolated the last few days, so it was nice to have conversations. Now here’s where it gets weird.

While I’m on the phone with Kev, a big white pick-up truck with a 20 foot covered trailer pulls up and rolls down the window. A white dude and I presume his wife are inside. Here’s exactly how the conversation went:

Guy: Hey, wanna make $20?
Me: Absolutely
Guy, visibly confused, looks at his wife, then back at me: Uhh, we just need a ride down the river, going to drop off the boat, then park back here. It’s only 2 miles, you sure that’s ok?
Me: Oh, yeah that’s great! I’m just sitting here. You know. Not doing anything.
Guy, still confused: Cool, see you soon

Ok I know what you’re thinking. I should have asked, “hey what task do you need for $20?” Before just jumping in and saying yes blindly. I guess they looked harmless. I know my dad is upset reading this right now… Dad I had bear mace in the door next to me. I would’ve maced both of us in a heartbeat if things went south.

I take the guy (I totally forgot his name) down the road. Army guy, stationed in the Fairbanks area, loves fishing and doing outdoor things with his wife. He’s super nice and easy to talk to. Oh, did I mention I made $20? I drop him off, and he says he’s also staying at the parking lot tonight, and I should join him and his wife for a beer later.

Fast forward to later that night, they get back, and he brings a beer over to my truck. He says come hang out, we got ya a chair! I saunter over and start chatting with Lori, the wife. They are from Michigan and Wisconsin, and are super easy to talk to. Force feeding me food and beer, as normal mid-western hosts do. Having only eaten peanut butter that day, I won’t lie, it was an amazing change of pace. I thoroughly enjoyed the company and conversation. We joke about how I blindly agree to make $20… And I’m made to promise that I’ll ask what I’m doing for money before agreeing right away. Fine, ya, that makes sense I suppose.

Full and slightly drunk off 2 beers, I thank them again for the warm hospitality, and get into the truck for the night. No mosquitoes, no rain, cool weather, it’s like the antithesis of last night! The next morning I’ll be headed to Palmer, AK and then to Anchorage. Hoping for more fun adventures and cool folks along the way!

Getting into Whitehorse, YT at first was very exciting. This is the capitol of Yukon, and the largest city for many, many miles. 30,000 people live here, and to put that into perspective the entire Yukon only has 45,000 residents. My Milepost bible tells me of many campgrounds with showers, restaurants, and places to get coffee with WiFi. On top of this, I’ll finally have cell service!

I pull into town, and find a campground with showers and a laundromat. It’s been way too long since I’ve been clean (the shower I had with my underwear on didn’t count), so this was priority #1. After running some laundry and properly washing the grime off of myself, I head into town. I start off at the town’s very cool, sleek visitor center. I wait around for about 10 minutes trying to talk to someone about hiking trails, but the old people in line in front of me are asking these poor employees to look up flight information for them. I left when they started the booking process…. I’m pretty sure the visitor center employees here are not supposed to be your private travel guides, but they were way too nice to say no.

I find a trail outside of the visitor center that parallels the town and the Yukon River, and stroll along that for a good amount of time. I even found a cool little tiny library! Score! Except all the books are in French… Sacre bleu.

After walking a bit, I decide to go to the Yukon Brewery which is on the outskirts of town. I’m excited for the opportunity to interact with people, sit at a bar, chill in public for a bit. That kind of stuff. But when I get there, the space is so small it’s just a small serving counter and a bunch of tables shoved into something the size of a bedroom. What a let down. The beer wasn’t even that great. I can handle shitty spaces for great beer, but if you’re going to be mediocre you better win me over with ambiance. I had one beer and left, headed back to the campground. Kind of felt like a waste really…

Wait, before leaving I decided to try some of the whiskey that is distilled at the same site of the beer. Ok this stuff is legit! Called Two Brewers Whiskey… I decide to buy a few bottles for dad’s birthday and father’s day. Perfect! We have a rule in our family, gifts should be consumable. Liquor, cigars, food, that kind of thing. So whiskey and gin fits right in.

The next day was rainy and grey, but I went walking again on my river trail, and through town as much as I could. It wasn’t really “town” but a small section of downtown, adjoined to tons of big box stores. Wal Mart, Save On foods, Canada Tire… All the name brand crap that doesn’t belong in tiny ass towns. I walk for many miles, then finally find myself at the restaurant inside a Best Western Hotel. Don’t judge me, the reviews online were fantastic.

I walk in, and find the bar. Start chatting with the bar keep and watch some hockey. THIS feels like Canada. Finally! I hung around for awhile, and eventually made friends with the kitchen staff. Got to sample some amazing food while having great conversation with the head chef, who was very jealous of my trip. He’s planning on doing something similar in South America apparently. Sounds dangerous as shit, but you do you!

After a few beers and food, I finally say goodbye to my friends and find my way back to the campground. Ok, I don’t normally judge people in campgrounds but a couple moved in next to my spot and they were hilarious. The guy had a massive pick up truck and was hauling a legit home made, 30 foot double axle trailer with so much shit on it I thought it was going to capsize if I sneezed near it. The girl was driving a Malibu, and had “I’m a girl, but I still like tits” written in the dirt on the back window. Big. She had leopard tights and large furry boots on, a 3 year old on her hip, and was smoking a cigarette while watching dad erect the biggest tent I’ve ever seen. I would’ve taken a pic but I definitely would have been shot.

So I hop into the truck, lock everything, and hope for the best. Besides some snoring that bordered on sleep apnea, all was well. I woke up the next morning and decided to cross back into the U. S of A and stay at a free campground just over the border. The drive was scenic and fairly empty. It would have been a fairly relaxing day, but the roads were complete shit. Frost heaves everywhere, potholes the size of your wheel well, and many sections that were just gravel. You really had to pay attention hard to avoid all of the obstacles.

At least there were a few cool stops along the way. One was Kluane National Park, and Soldier’s Summit. This is where the Alcan Highway was officially opened in 1943. USA military personnel spent 10 months bulldozing the roadway so that personnel and machinery could get to Alaska to protect it during WWII. Not that there was like, stuff to protect up there, but it could have been a way for the Japanese to infiltrate the lower 48. This hike offered some pretty amazing views, and the educational signage was excellent.

At the border, the officer didn’t really give a shit. Asked if I had any guns, and I said yes. “Any pets? No (I wish). Handed him my passport card that he scanned and handed back. “Have a nice trip” was all that was said back. Well that was easy! I’m assuming it’s because I’m an American citizen, but I guess I thought it would be a little more thorough? Oh well, not complaining at all.

A few minutes later I hit Deadman’s Lake Campground inside the Tetlin National Wildlife Refuge. This refuge is beautiful and really well run. Everything was clean, well marked, and had tons of educational signage. Plus it was free camping on the lake! They even had free canoes and life jackets available so you could paddle out. I was a fan. A mile down the road was another campsite inside the refuge with a photo blind set up so you could spy on loons and swans… I may have watched loons muff around the lake for way too long…

Everyone was nice and the weather was perfect. The next day takes me into Wrangell St. Elias National Park, which I’m excited for. Hope the nice weather holds out.

After waking up at the mosquito hell hole, I started getting ready to continue north. The lady camping next to me at Mezidian Lake was packing up at the same time as me, and I struck up conversation with her. She is from Homer, AK and thinks I should take the 5 hr round trip drive to Homer when I’m in Anchorage. Hmmm maybe? Sounds like a lot. She starts showing me pics of awesome hiking trails there and gorgeous vistas from mountain tops. Ok, I’m sold, how do I get there? What’s the trail name? Oh, you have to get on a ferry which is $70 a person to go across the bay to this tiny peninsula. I suppose the only reason these areas are still so nice and wild is lack of access…

As I say my farewells to my new friend and start my drive, I finally realize that I cannot be hiking here alone. The trails are seldom used, and bears are literally everywhere. As I was having this deep, reflective thought, I see what I think is a moose ahead of me on the road shoulder! I’ve never seen a moose! As I slow down and peer harder, the animal turns its head and… It’s a god damn grizzly. Hollllyyy shit it’s huge. And skinny… It looks pretty sad actually, like a gangly teen that has shot up in height but hasn’t quite filled out yet. It’s shaggy, brown fun looks like a matted faux fur rug you’d find in a shitty place like TJ Maxx (PS I love TJ Maxx, but they would not have a real fur rug).

Alright. I need to stop being sad about not hiking in Canada, and just wait until I get Cas up here. At least she can call for help on the GPS while I’m getting mauled.

For today, I’ve got my sights set on a recreations site just north of Iskut, and south of Dease Lake along the Cassiar Hwy. Everything I’ve read about this road in my Milepost Bible says gas is infrequent, there’s no cell service, and the road is shit. Truth be told, it wasn’t that bad. Gas stations are found about every 100 miles, so as long as you top off at each one, you’re totally fine. There was no cell service or even a radio station to listen to, so I just put my audio book on my portable speaker. It’s my second time listening to “A Walk in the Woods” by Bill Bryson, but I don’t mind. That reminds me, I need to buy another audio book… As far as the road condition, sure there were no lines or stripes, and about 1/3 was gravel, but overall I though it was quite nice. I wouldn’t want to be driving a super nice RV on it, but it was a breeze with the Tundra. No complaints. Wait I have a complaint. Why in the hell did my CD player decide to die?? I brought alllll these old school CD’s from my youth back from Pensacola with me, and now you shit the bed? Not cool….

As for the recreation site, Canada does this thing where they offer loads of free recreation. Want to go to a Provincial Park? Free entry. Want to camp for free? Here’s 40 free sites scattered across the state, at great intervals for travelers. All with access to all size vehicles. Want to camp along a beautiful lake and have full hook ups? 22$. Don’t want people littering? Have bear proof trash cans at every stop and camping location. I could go on, but seriously. Canada has it figured out. The people here may be weird, but they have figured out how to accommodate the tourism and travel industry. At least British Columbia has.

After my uneventful drive, I pull up at the recreation site I’m planning on staying at, and pick a nice spot somewhat near a privy, and away from the lake. I don’t want a re-run of last night. Nothing too eventful happened here. It was definite bear habitat, so I stayed near the truck. Read a bit, organized the truck, made some tea, and worked on the bug dilemma. The mosquitoes were not as bad here, but still had a presence. How in the hell are they still getting in? Then, it hit me. There’s road dirt near where the tailgate attaches to the truck body. Dust has found it’s way up to my pull out shelves and even onto the sleeping bag near the tailgate. I overlooked this before, but it’s a clue. If dust and small rocks are getting in from under the truck, that’s gotta be where the mosquitoes are coming in from too. As I get on the ground and get under the truck, I can see straight up into my living space. I’m such an idiot…. This is a huge canal for insect…

So, I shove my mosquito net in this linear space. That was it. No more mosquitoes in the cab. Plus I haven’t totally shut off my air flow by having the mesh there. Win win.

I slept hard and long that night, as I didn’t sleep much at all the previous night. As I venture more and more north, the days are getting incredibly long. Sunset happens around midnight now, and it never actually goes completely dark. Just twilight for a few hours until the sun is right back up at 4:30 am. It’s nice to be able to go out for a pee without a headlamp.

The next day, I make it to the Alaskan Highway and start heading West. I was sure that this major highway was going to have cell service, which was very exciting after multiple days without it. I wanted to talk to Cas, and tell my dad I was still alive and well. But, as I rounded the turn and drove for some time, there was no service to be found. The next big town was hours away, and I finally realized I was in for another cell-less night. It’s not a big deal really, but I do like to check in every few days. And this is the longest I had been without being able to do that.

While being upset about the lack of phone service, I missed a gas station. Shit. I look at my milepost and see the next one is 250 miles. Double shit. With my gas on its last quarter tank, I pull into a recreation site to spend the night, and drop 5 gallons in from my roof stash. I knew this would come in handy at some point! As I’m getting ready for the night, a dad and 2 kids pull up and start making dinner for themselves. They have a coon hound named Fritter wandering around, and I made quick pup friends. Eventually the guy wanders over and we start chatting. He’s from Anchorage and headed to the lower 48 for vacation. Huh, the ol’ switcharoo eh? Funny to think of Alaskans wanting to come south, but it makes sense. He and his kids tell me about multiple hiking trails in Anchorage, and tell me to hike after running clubs go through an area in the morning. They flush out the wildlife… Great idea!

As they pack up to continue driving after dinner, I say goodbye and give Fritter one last rub down. It seems everyone here has a dog…. I’m jealous. The next day brings me to Whitehorse, the capital of the Yukon Territory and the promise of cell service and beer. I am very excited for this….

After a pretty decent night of sleep, I was feeling surprisingly refreshed. The memory of my embarrassing and hectic day in Smithers was finally in my rear view mirror, and I was determined to have a better day today. It finally stopped raining, as I was able to have a nice cup of coffee while pouring over maps of where to stay that night. I decided to just drive, and stay at whatever place speaks to me. Sometimes this works, and sometimes this is an awful idea. Anyway, he’s how the next 24 hrs went…

As I began driving north, I was excited to see my first black bear on the side of the road. Today is definitely looking up! From a distance I thought it was a donkey… These animals are much larger than the bears I’ve seen in Florida.

After a 3 hour leisure drive full of pit stops and sight seeing, I see a sign for Meziadin Lake Provincial Park. Heck I got nothing to do, let’s at least check it out. As I pull in and make my rounds to the day use area, I can’t help but gawk at the beautiful camp sites right on the lake edge. Man, It’s absolutely gorgeous here! This site is definitely speaking to me, and I made the executive decision to find the prettiest open spot, and set up for the evening. Well, it was only 3PM, but you know what I mean.

After I park, I get out and walk around a bit, surveying the campgrounds, figuring out how to register, and seeing if any hiking trails exist nearby (the answer was no). When walking, I had no issues, but as soon as I got back to the truck and dawdled a bit outside, I was mobbed by a herd of mosquitoes. Flock of mosquitoes? Gaggle of mosquitoes? Hm, whatever you call a shit load of mosquitoes. Man, this is bad. Maybe a breeze will quick up later and keep these guys grounded? I take out the bug net that worked so well at the last provincial park and drape it over the truck camper. So glad I have this figured out already! I am one with mosquito avoidance, dodging from their hungry craze with a thin veil of webbing from Amazon.

Actually, it didn’t work like that at all.

Here’s how it went. I put on the veil, and climb into the camper to read a bit and potentially write a blog. I have what I shall call massacre #1. Need to get the population down in here, as about 50 insects hopped into the back with me as I climbed in. No problem. Me and a touristy magazine went to work smashing and smushing all the mosquitoes I could find.

Everything was cool for about 5 minutes, then a handful more mosquitoes showed up. Hm. Maybe these guys were hiding in the curtains? I smash them too, trying to pile up their bodies as I don’t want to sleep in a bed of dead mosquitoes. Those are now dead, and 10 more show up. Where in god’s green earth did y’all come from?? There could not be that many insects hiding. There is a breach. And I need to find it ASAP.

I get outside, back into the school of mosquito, and survey the truck. Tiny air holes are under both sets of windows, and there is some open space where the tailgate meets the lights of the truck. The bug net is doing absolutely nothing. There are more insects inside the net at this point than outside. Mocking me…. I rip off the net, and start gorilla taping every hole I can find. Which ended up being about 10. There. We should have a solid seal now! Time for take 2…

I climb back in, along with 45 mosquitoes closely following me. Start scene, massacre #2. I kill what feels like whole lineages of mosquitoes, again piling their bodies. Maybe they’ll see the bodies as they fly towards me, and give blood leeching another thought? Something like the 300 movie…

After killing many, many individuals, it’s finally quiet in the cab. For the first time, I think I have won the battle. Then, a slow and steady stream of mosquitoes trickles in. Not 10 at a time like before, but still… A single file line into the truck exists somewhere. And I cannot find it. It’s like a faucet that has been ratcheted down, but not fully turned off. I try for almost an hour to visually see where they are entering. But I have no luck. The only positive note is that I have deduced that they are coming in from the tailgate area.

By this point, it’s 11:30PM, still light out unfortunately, and I’ve completely lost my mind. My entire day has been full of slaughter. I’m tired, frustrated, and my hands have bits of leg and wing all over them. I give up. I pull out the computer and do the most mundane thing I can think of to preoccupy myself as wing beats swarm me. I play Candy Crush. Stupid, yet comforting. Mindless work to keep me from yelling at the world. I cover everything I can with my sleeping bag, and just play until I’m too tired to stay awake any longer.

It was a long uncomfortable night, but eventually the insect population in the truck diminished. By sealing up everything trying to avoid bugs, I have made my condensation issue much, much worse. I wake up early, moist, and determined to find where the bugs are entering from.

Besides the insects, my camp spot was beautiful in the morning light. The swarm (I finally figured it out) of mosquitoes was somehow manageable this AM. As I surveyed my truck’s rear, I finally found the secret mosquito entrance. A chute to divert water off the glass (both inside and outside) in the lower corner was acting like a wildlife culvert. Open on both sides, but hidden from view, this seemingly useful water diverter was now the enemy. Fuck water diversion. I pulled out some sealant and shut that hole. Then taped over it just to be safe. Tomorrow will be the true test…

While I was enduring this mosquito shit show, I tried to think if this was the worst I had been exposed to, bug wise. The answer was definitely no. When I used to work at mosquito lagoon within Canaveral National Seashore, we would regularly have days that were worse. One time, it was so thick at our research house that you couldn’t open your mouth while outside, as a handful of mosquitoes were filling every square inch of space. Nostrils and mouths were choked by the massive amount of insects, getting caught in your teeth, and biting every square inch of your body. I cried that day. While working. My advisor rolled up to the site during lunch and was appalled at how hilariously sad we all appeared. She stepped outside for only 3 minutes after making fun of us, to quickly apologize. It had never been that bad, nor would it ever be that bad again.

I remember calling my dad and asking if I was in danger of losing too much blood due to bites. I counted over 100 individual bites that night. he laughed, and said no, but if you start getting flu symptoms, call me back… He then offered to buy me a bug shirt, which I never did. Because of that day, no other shitty bug day ever compared to it. Yesterday came preeeeettttyyy close.

I’m finally leaving Meziadin Lake, and will head north. I’m hoping today can be slightly better than yesterday, but my expectations are pretty damn low. I’m starting to understand why no one actually lives in these amazingly beautiful areas…

The mosquito net kept all but one (visible) insect from entering my sleeping space. Going to call that a huge win! I slowly pack everything up, lazily drink my morning coffee, and continue my travels north. I plan on stopping at Williams Lake around noon to get a hike in, then continue up towards Prince George, and ultimately end up at Fraser Lake. The city names are great right?

When I get into Williams Lake, I decide to stop at the information center at the start of town to get my bearings and ask about favorable hikes. Apparently the town was originally named after Chief Will-Yum, but it somehow became William. I personally like Will-Yum, although it sounds like a crappy Chinese buffet bar. The woman who greets me at the visitor center is actually pretty unhelpful, and keeps telling me about hiking areas an hour north here, and hour and half south here… No lady, what’s local, in town, ready to mingle right now? She finally tells me about the river walk trail that parallels the downtown area, and eventually ends up at the Fraser River. I know none of these names mean anything, so basically it runs into the Mississippi River of British Columbia. Cool! I get the trailhead location and head off in some surprisingly warm temps.

So I get to the trailhead, and it’s as expected. I dirt lot with a dirt road leading down to the “trail.” I follow the “trail” which is actually a pretty developed gravel road. Like two lanes wide. Ok, maybe it narrows down at some point? Trucks are passing regularly, some personal vehicles, but mostly white work trucks. Looks to be city vehicles. I pay that no mind at first, and start really looking at my surroundings. Hm. The water is dark brown, all the riparian areas are bare dirt with high erosion levels and man… kinda smells like shit. It took about 1.5 kilometers to figure out this was a sewage treatment area. I had to pass the actual open holding tanks of poop before realizing it. Why on earth would there be so many people walking and biking out on this trail when it smells so bad? I don’t understand. What I do understand is why the lady at the information center was not telling me about this gem. Oh well. On the plus side, I did take one nice picture of the place. No floating poop pieces included.

I quickly walked back to the truck, and tried to figure out where to go next. You know, I haven’t been to a single brewery yet in Canada. Maybe there’s one around here? I take out Yelp and find what seems to be a cute place in the town of Quesnel, an hour north of Will-Yum.

Side note, I have no idea if I’m spelling these towns right, and not enough WiFi time to look it up….

I pull up to Quesnel and find Barekerville Brewery, and I wonder if it’s even open. Yes the door is open but I can’t find anyone inside. After waiting a minute, I spot a small bell next to the register that says “ring for beer.” After one quick ring, a girl emerges from the woodwork to help me. I need a beer bell for all occasions…

After a flight to try 4 different yet decently tasty beers, I head off to a free RV park in Fraser Lake. The idea of a free anything is odd, so I’m hoping for the best but expecting the worst. I start to worry there won’t be room, and I’ll have to scrounge around last minute for a place to stay like normal. But, to my surprise, when I pulled up I was greeted with a beautiful lake front and ample RV parking. And a clean bathroom? And cell service? This place is nicer than most areas I pay to camp! What’s the catch?

Oh, right, the extremely active train tracks 50 feet away… Only one train at 10pm then another at 4am. For free though? I can deal with 2 trains.

I wake up the next morning to rain and sleet. I can only tell the difference due to the sounds on the camper top. I’m pretty sure no one is throwing BBs on the truck, so I’m guessing sleet. Crap, I had so many outdoor things to do today! Well, not more than normal, but rain definitely hampers my style. I decide to try and drive on, seeing if I can get out of the weather.

The quick answer to that was no. It was raining everywhere. I get into Smithers, where I’ve found another free camping spot, and decide to try and hike a bit. But before that, I decide that I need a shower. Like, badly. I remember the public pool trick I talked about in my previous blog, and find the leisure pool in Smithers to ask if I can just buy a shower. The answer is yes, you can buy a shower for $3.75 at the Leisure pool in Smithers. What no one told me was that the $3.75 was buying a communal shower in the girls locker room of that pool. Not even a good communal shower. It was 3 faucets, no place to put soap, and only one curtain covering your naked ass from the pool behind you. Why is there a window here anyway?? What the fuck did I just do. Am I back in Europe? Are you supposed to shower with your swim suit on? This is very confusing and odd. The toilets have stalls, so that throws me off. In areas I’ve been to in Iceland with communal showers, the bathrooms didn’t have stalls either. The changing rooms were individual… So I honestly have no idea what to do and no one else is in here to compare with. So. Not wanting to be the one random naked chick, I do a 5 nanosecond shower with my underwear on. I’m fumbling soap like it’s my first day in prison, and I’m all around not having a good time. At least I got my hair washed…

The best part of the whole experience was that after my shower I quickly slid into a toilet stall, then proceeded to wring out my sports bra and underwear into the toilet. What a shit show.

I later googled that yes, you’re supposed to be naked. They make everyone shower with soap before entering the pools as they don’t use chlorine? What kinda fake news is this shit? You think one shower is gonna keep nasty crap from living in a pool of water you’ve heated up to 75 degrees? That’s not how any of this works!

After my demoralizing and stressful shower experience, I head to where I’m staying the night to scope things out. There’s a waterfall near the campsite, so I hoof it up the steep gravel path to get a glimpse. Yup. That’s a waterfall…. The rain is stupid and cold so I walk back to the car. Today is stupid.

I decide to drive back into the town of Smithers to check it out. Two breweries are here, so I go to one to have a beer and potentially interact with other humans. I don’t know what it is, but I just didn’t feel like I fit in. I haven’t felt like I’ve fit in anywhere here. I can’t explain it at all, just feels odd. Defeated, lonely, and hungry, I decide to just go back to the camp site and read for a bit. Maybe it was the weather, or the stressful shower, but I was just feeling down in general.

I’m hoping the weather is better tomorrow so I can get a hike in. Although I’m a little worried about bears. This seems to be the time grizzlies are waking up, and I hate being alone in the woods.

Tomorrow will be better. It has to be.

After leaving Seattle, I head north and east to the North Cascades National Park and Recreation Area. I get in later than anticipated, but luckily I have already researched a free roadside campsite! But when I get there, it does not exist. That or I had an incorrect point. Either way, this means I need to find an actual campsite before it gets dark. I wander into the park, and find many sites along the Skagit River. All are beautiful, and doable at $16 a pop. At least there are toilets and water and no road noise. I find a site and begin organizing my truck for the border crossing tomorrow. I want everything to look clean and orderly so they don’t feel like they need to tear it apart and search everything. I’m carrying a shotgun, so I already know I’ll be pulled into secondary. I just want that to go as quickly and painlessly as possible.

As I jump out of the truck to begin organizing, I’m swarmed by mosquitoes. Shit. I knew this was going to be an issue, but already?? They are bad… I grab my insect repellent which keeps them from biting me, but they’re still buzzing all around my head constantly. Annoying as crap, but not too terrible. I can only imagine this will get worse as I travel north.

The next day, I pester some park employees about hiking trails, and I’m told of one called Thunder Creek Trl and 4th of July Pass. A moderate trail that supposedly has some good views at the pass. As I drive to the trail head, I stop a few times at some of the overlooks. At least 3 dams are here on the park, creating vast lakes with aquamarine water. They look cool, but I hate dams. I especially hate to see 3 dams in a place as beautiful as this. I also really hate when dams are glorified at National Parks… Nothing natural about totally disrupting the flow of water for personal gain.

Thunder Creek Trail was pretty awesome. Easy terrain and good river views. I turned to take a steeper trail up to 4th of July Pass, and immediately regret it. This shit is straight up and down. But, I’m too stubborn to turn around, so I slog through the 3.5 miles until I’m up at the vantage point. ….Um, this vantage point sucks. I can barely see anything! You made me walk almost 4 miles straight up for this?! Stupid trail…. I turn around a walk back along the vertical trail, pissed at myself for not doing my own research on what to hike. Lesson learned.

Back at the car, I do some more driving to see the official Diablo Lake and Ross Lake overlook areas. They’re pretty ok I guess, but I’m still upset about the whole “put a damn everywhere” mentality here. I decide to head out of the park and to the border town of Sumas to cross into British Columbia.

Pulling up to Sumas, I’m a little nervous. Mostly because I don’t want any of my stuff to be taken, and I don’t want to have to clean up any messes from a vehicle search. I get to the gate, and the officer asks the normal stuff. Where you from, where you headed, that kind of crap. That part is easy, I’m just driving the entire country and heading up to Alaska. Then he asks about what I have to declare, and I say I have a shotgun and some nuts. He says, and I quote, “I’m not worried about your nuts.” Obviously he only really cares about the shotgun, but phrasing!! I thought it was hilarious. He did not.

So I get pulled into secondary. The officer directing me there is creepy and scary as shit. He says grab your ID and the yellow slip of paper the officer gave me and nothing else and walk inside along the red line. I follow these directions, and walk into the customs office which, of course, has a TV playing hockey. I’m the only person there. Good thing I came on a Monday evening. They take my keys, I tell them where the gun is, and where the filled out paperwork is for it. A few minutes pass, and I’m told the fee is $20. Guess that means everything is cool? I have to walk back outside to the creepy officer and grab my wallet, then go back inside to pay. All in all, I’m in and out in 15 minutes. No vehicle torn apart, and nothing to stress about. I’m told that my gun is only for defense against wildlife (which is what I wanted), and to keep this customs paperwork with it at all times. Pretty easy is you ask me. PS I did not take pictures. I was too scared it would piss them off.

After the border crossing, I get into the land of the metric system. Shit, how fast is 50 km/h? Everything looks different and feels different. I pull over at a Costco to get my bearings and figure out where in the hell I’m headed to for the night. I have a roadside parking area planned, but it’s too far. I start driving north, just looking for anywhere to pull over and spend the night. I eventually find a cute trailhead parking area just outside the town of Yale. So I have a place to park and a place to hike in the morning! Score!

Unfortunately, the road noise from truckers during the night kept me awake. I slept like shit, and light is pouring in at 5am. I decide to wake up early, hike, then head to an actual campground about 3 hours north of here. I begin my hike, only to realize this is straight up and down. Even worse than the 4th of July Pass at Cascades! I’m not too stubborn today, I turn my ass around a half mile in and hike back to the car. Screw this hike. I decide to just drive north and see if I can find any cool places to stop along the way.

I mean, I found some touristy stuff. A place called hell’s gate, some cool log cabins… All very Canadian. I try and get gas, but my credit card doesn’t work in the machine? Apparently they don’t do like, a dollar hold where you can fill up and go. You either get like, $20, or $50 of gas, or you give your physical credit card to the clerk, and they ring you up after your done. This seems silly to me… Also, I went to Safeway which is a supermarket that’s all over the west coast. I have a rewards card to get the lower prices on select items. When I go to give my card to the clerk, she’s like, “oh, we don’t do cards in Canada.” Then why have a card member price and then a regular price? Y’all make no damn sense.

So, I’m frustrated and tired. I finally pull into the town of Cache Creek to a visitor information center. It’s set up to look like a 50s diner. Weird, but ok… I walk in to find a girl behind the counter, and I begin asking her about hiking trails. She is sooooo helpful, so I start asking about the gas pumps, ATMs, and which route to take. She’s got an answer for everything! Plus, get this, I get the secret on where to find showers. Public pools! Pay $2 and you get a shower AND a chance to swim. I’m sold. I thank her profusely, and head north.

I decide I’m too tired to find a random spot on the road to camp, so I pull into a provincial park and pay $18 for a campsite. Really it’s like $15 in American dollars, so I’m fine with that. As soon as I stop I am swarmed by mosquitoes. Like, really bad. Dammit! I decide to pull out the bug net today and cover the truck. This works better than expected!!

Now that I’m at the park, I realize there really isn’t much to do. Some lake access, a shitty hiking trail, that’s about it. But, I don’t mind. I’m too tired at this point and I’m ready for sleep. Tomorrow I’m heading north and getting onto the Cassiar Hwy. Should be interesting!!

After 10 restful days in Pensacola, it was finally time for me to head back to the truck and continue on my sabbatical. I had an amazing time while I was home. I got the light fixture I was working on completed, and got quality time in with Cas and my dad. All in all, a great trip that was worth the absurd flight times. As I head back to Seattle, I realize I won’t get into the airport until 12:30am on the following day. I start to google if you’re allowed to sleep overnight at the airport.

The answer is yes and no. They don’t encourage it, but the airport stays open 24hrs a day. I even found a site that tells you where all the padded benches are within the Seattle airport. I love the internet. As we touch down in Seattle at the ungodly hour of 12:30, I make my way to one of the terminals that has plush benches. When I get there, I realize there is a tiny community of people laying down on benches. Folks passed out with blankets over their heads, others laying while scrolling on their phones… About 15 people in total. I find an open bench and try to get comfortable. So, I think I could have actually slept if there wasn’t a dude talking loudly on speaker phone. He was going on and on about how everyone on earth is going to hell for being sinners. Apparently Moses went to hell? Who knew? AND Abraham? Well shit! I’m learning so many things! During his rant that is more repetitive than lamb chop’s theme song, he says many times that he is going to heaven where he’s going to watch all of humanity burn below. I’m too tired to move seats, too scared of a psychotic break to complain to him, and too sucked into the convo to sleep. Oh well.

I get to my truck around 5:30am, and start my drive out to the NW corner of Mt. Rainier National Park. It’s not the best area to access the park, but it’s the closest by about 2 hours. I want to see the park, but not bad enough to spend ungodly amounts of time in the car. Just give me a hiking trail and a view of the mountain. I’ll be golden. Funny part of this trail that I find along the Carbon River was that you really couldn’t see the mountain at all. Like, no snowy peaks, no glaciers, just dense forest and a whitish grey river. Obviously that’s fine, I just want to hike, but I find it kind of funny that I can’t even seen the tallest peak in Washington from the park named after it.

I decide to go 5 miles into the park to a campground, eat lunch, then turn around. The hike was surprisingly flat with little in the way of terrain. The views of the river were awesome, and the forest was of course lush and beautiful. As I get to my turn around point at the campground, I run into a park volunteer. An older man well into his 60s or 70s, hiking faster than people half his age. Excuse me sir, but I have to ask… Is there anywhere I can see Mt. Rainier from this trail??

Man I stopped the right guy! He tells me there is a small wooden bridge across the Carbon River leading to a waterfall. Mind you, I saw the sign for that waterfall, but the bridge looked like a failed cub scout project (see above), so I decided to skip it. He tells me to take this bridge, and stop halfway across the river and look East. That is the one and only spot to see Mt. Rainier from this section of the park.

Well, I do as the man says, and sure enough there is the mountain. It’s nothing to write home about from this angle (that’s what she said) but I was glad to at least see it. I continued on to the waterfall, and it was actually pretty cool. Plus, I didn’t die crossing the river.

• 

• 

After my park adventure, I decide to find a nice spot along a nearby forestry road to park and spend the night. Sucks I’m here on a Friday, as all the rednecks are out in full force along this section. I finally find an open spot, and settle in for the night. Now the next morning, I was woken up waaaaaay too early. This was a relatively quiet road, but at 5am I hear car after car after car passing me. Wtf is going on so damn early in the morning?! I peek out of the truck and see newer SUVs and expensive hatchbacks. White people… So it’s gotta be a mountaineering expedition, half marathon or a bike race. Well, I was partially right. It was what I have learned is a ragnar race. A large mileage running thing that’s done as a relay race with a team of people. I watch the people struggle to run uphill as I sip coffee from my tailgate. It’s kinda fun when you’re not actually running.

After watching 3 large groups go by, I decide to hit the road and head to Seattle. There’s a guy that I used to coordinate with at Atlanta Botanical Gardens at work who has moved there, and he’s pestered me enough over Instagram to hit him up in the city. He’s working today, but that gives me time to wander around downtown and explore all the touristy shit that’s there. I do alllll the touristy things. Go to the original Starbucks, find the gum wall, and walk around the Pike Place markets. I even go see the space needle. Pretty cool, but a shit load of people. Apparently a cruise ship was docked while I was there. Not being able to fit into any parking garages, I spend my 2 hours downtown, then head to west Seattle where Matt is renting a room at Alki Beach.

• 

• 

• 

Matt has left his gig at Atlanta Botanical Gardens, and has taken a sweet job overseeing a greenhouse that supplies plants to the Amazon Spheres project in downtown Seattle. He doesn’t work for Amazon, but is basically a contractor that does all their work while having an Amazon employee on site ensuring they do everything to standard. And the standard is crazy high. We talk about his work, we talk about my departure from normal civilization, and decide to grab some Thai food and beer in West Seattle. I have to say, West Seattle is cheaper than expected, and way better than some of the other large cities I’ve seen up in the Pacific NW. I really like it. Plus there are gay people everywhere! This town is super progressive, and clean, and green, and forward thinking. I’m sold.

Sold until I hear about how much houses cost. Now I’m out. Lol.

Before leaving Seattle, Matt takes me to the Amazon Spheres to get a quick tour. This is a spot where Amazon employees can come work, have meetings, or just grab lunch. It’s designed to have the atmosphere of a cloud forest, featuring hundreds of exotic plant species from that natural community in planters and on these 3 story living walls. They are massive and impossible to get a good photo of. They also have vivariums and aquariums of amazonian fish. It was so damn cool.

• 

• 

As we go our separate ways after the Amazon tour, I get a twinge of anxiety about the next few days. By Monday afternoon, I’ll be across the border into Canada and heading North to Alaska. I’m excited for the unknown, and scared. We’ll see how it goes!

Back in Pensacola now, and man, no wonder people bitch about it being so hot. I suppose when you’re always in the heat it feels normal, but coming from the low 60s the other day, this feels a bit oppressive. Regardless, I’m super stoked to be home for a few days. I’ve got a couple projects to finish with the new house, and I get to spend some time with Cas and my dad. I’m sad to report that my cat Moab has in fact forgotten who I am. She’s slowly warming back up to me, but man, talk about heart daggers. I take you in from the woods and this is how you treat me??! The other tiny asshole (Tucker) of course remembers me. He would never forget a hand that has fed him….

Before flying home, I went for a cool hike near the staircase portion of Olympic National Park. The actual park road was closed, so I stayed within the National Forest just outside the boundary. It was cloudy and cold, but nothing too crazy. I packed a rain jacket just in case, as the weather here can change on you in a heartbeat.

While hiking, it of course started pouring. Which is fine. I just trudged along, thinking about how I do not want to venture into the city later. After being in the woods, it’s always hard to make yourself deal with the hustle of 6 lane traffic and shitty people. I’ve planned to sleep at a rest stop off the highway near the SeaTac airport. I need to get to the airport super early, so I do not want to have to pay for a camping spot, or deal with traveling a long distance from the woods to the airport. I am not looking forward to this…

• 

• 

While hiking, there are a few peculiar things that happened. First, why are there a bunch of trolls nailed to one of the bridges? They remind me of my aunt Maryann who had all the little troll figurines back in the day. You know what I’m talking about…. Crazy hair colors, jewel on the bellybutton…. She had sooooo many of them and I was so jealous! I loved playing with their stupid synthetic hair. Where did all those trolls go? I’ll have to ask my aunt… Hopefully not nailed to a bridge to freak out unsuspecting hikers.

After the bridge trolls, I found Dick’s rock. It did not look like a dick which was disappointing. It looked as if an official forestry sign had marked dick rock, which was hilarious to me.

The last find was huge. Imagine you’re deep in the PNW, and you come across a legend hiding in the brush. I’m just minding my bushiness when BAM! I SEE SASQUATCH! HE’S JUST CHILLING ON THE TRAIL!

It’s one of those stupid rubber bracelets that takes on a shape when not on your wrist. I of course pick up Sasquatch. He’s now hiding from the cats in a bathroom drawer.

After my hike, I head back to the truck in blinding rain. When I get there, a forestry ranger is writing parking tickets. Keep in mind it’s awful weather, and 2PM on a Monday at a totally secluded trail head, miles from cell service. He forgot his rain coat, and is hiding under a tree while writing. I honestly was not expecting to see a dude writing tickets… I strike up conversation with him. Hey man, you alright? You need a poncho or something? He tells me the weatherman lied to him this morning, and he’s punishing himself for not bringing the proper attire. Poor guy. We’ve all been there. I see the ticket he’s writing is for the only other car in the parking lot. The parking fee is $5, but the ticket is $75. Ouch. Glad I have my annual park pass. For $80 I have entry to all federal fee areas. Seriously guys, best deal ever….

As I leave the woods, I set my sights on a coffee shop with WiFi. The next big town on my path is Olympia, so I get to service, scroll through Yelp, and find the most hipster place I can. Olympia Coffee Brewing.

Once in Olympia, I instantly don’t like it. It looks identical to Tallahassee, but add in dudes smoking pot on every corner, and subtract all the black people. Seriously, I have not seen a black person since I got up here. In fact, there is extremely limited diversity in this whole region. It feels strange. I never though of Florida as a melting pot, but it’s a hell of a lot more diverse than this place.

So I get my coffee and snag a seat at this super swanky spot. I can’t help but overhear the two kids talking next to me. I say kids because they look about 15. I can tell they are in college, but only because they are talking about classes they are enrolled in. The conversation is so hilarious, I cannot do any of the things I had planned to do while there. The conversation went like this:

Boy: Our kid is going to be so dramatic

Girl: It’s because you’re a Sagittarius and you’re always seeking attention. Of course our kid is going to be dramatic

Boy: I also want our kid to be outdoorsy, you know? So we should definitely have a rope swing at our house. So it can be like Tarzan. But that’s going to be hard while living in the city.

Girl: We could live like, right outside the city….

Boy: I cannot believe you’d want to raise a kid in the suburbs!

Girl: OMG you’re right, we’ll stay in the city, and just like, take the kid to outdoorsy places. Where should we take him?

Boy: I mean, we definitely need to take him to Mt. Rushmore.

Ok lemme stop there. This type of convo went on for awhile and I was losing my shit. I decided to take a picture for y’all… First of all, you’re like 12. Stop talking about having a kid. Second, how the fuck did Mt. Rushmore top your list of “outdoorsy places” to take you’re kid??? Third, please stop talking about creating a new life while trying to decide what astrological sign it should be. This couple stayed for so long that I contemplated changing seats just so I didn’t have to be in earshot anymore. I lost 13 brain cells this day….

After coffee and brain cell loss, I headed over to the rest stop off I-5 for the night. Man, it was shitty. So many people were car camping there that there were only a few parking spots left. I snagged one, and tried to make myself comfy. I’m pretty sure the car next to me was selling drugs out of it, and I think I saw at least 2 prostitutes. Around 3 am, a bunch of police, ambulances and fire trucks showed up. Let’s just say it wasn’t the best night of sleep I’ve ever had.

Regardless, it served its purpose. The next day I was on a flight to Mobile, AL. Now that I’m home, it’s easy to fall back into normal life. Hoping I can still be productive, but it’s hard when you have a bunch of animals to play with. By the end of this week, I should be posting pics of a finished light fixture. God I hope I can get it finished in time…